Well it looks like the Mayans not only did us the favor of predicting when we are gonna die, but also inspiring one of the worst movies I have ever seen. There are no words that could explain what this movie was. It was just that bad. I take it upon myself to suffer these endeavors so that you, the reader, doesn't have to. Our Blockbuster movie mail in system kicked in and this was just one of the movies I happened to add to the queue. Let me just say,
this is probably one of the worst movies I have seen in my life. It is right up there with "The Happening", and some other really crappy movies movies that I will sadly have to watch again and then review. Enough about that. Lets get back to bashing this piece of fecal matter. Roland Emmerich is the man who brought this Frankenstein to life. Too bad this Frankenstein happens to kill everyone on the planet. Making a movie about the world coming to end and putting it in theaters right after "Knowing", isn't the best idea. While we were all fatigued after watching "Knowing", they throw another apocalyptic movie at us. The previews looked promising, but the movie didn't deliver what you wanted. There are tons of special effects that look good, but yet again have you thinking of "Knowing". The only difference in this movie though, is that they added a formula that has been used since the dawn of movies. The "Father who is divorced and has kids that don't care for him and the wife with the boyfriend who is ten times richer and spoils the kids in the father's face". I have seen so many movies that use the exact formula. "Night at The Museum", "Tooth Fairy", "Liar Liar", the list can go on forever. I personally thought it was stupid adding this kind of plot to the movie. I say this because, if you think about it, who the hell cares about whether the characters work out there marriage problems or whatever? The movie is about the extinction of Humanity and I have to deal with this? Thats the other thing. Throughout the movie, you see scenes of mass destruction and people being killed in all sorts of ironic ways. I found myself laughing at these things. Not because I have a sick sense of humor, but because it was so stupid and corny, how could you not laugh? The characters in this movie see thousands of people die, and the only thing they do is go "Oh God", and go on with life. The little girl even sees people dying and she isn't even scarred throughout the movie. She just cries and then doesn't even care. If I was that young and saw those atrocities, I would probably end up in the place where the loonies go. So the world has gone to hell and these people have managed to survive on pure luck. I don't even think this kind of luck even exists its so lucky. So while they escape, the USA combined with the Chinese are building ships so they don't get all wet from the giant tidal waves. We don't have the technology to make water airplanes and just fly over it, we have to find the most expensive way to make boats and then just put em in the water. By the way, did I mention that you have to pay a billion dollars for 1 ticket to get on this boat? What is this? Willy Wonka's boat that passes through space and time? Nope. Just a regular big ass boat. Nothing special about it other than its big. So what they are sayin, is that if you aint dirty rich, you gonna die. The President (Danny Glover), decides to stay behind, and gets crushed by the U.S.S Kennedy. Someone just dropped an irony bomb on this movie because its full of it. I don't even want to talk about it because there is so much of it. The father is played by John Cusack, who is a writer. He writes books about the apocalypse. The whole storyline is based on him and his family and friends making it to the ships. During this, they kill people off that you expect to live, but when you are watching this, you are saying in your head "He/She is gonna get killed". Worst part is, you don't even really care. I couldn't even watch the whole movie all at once. It took me three days to finish it. It was like pulling teeth. I can honestly say that I never want to watch that movie again. I wouldn't even watch it if my girlfriend rented it and wanted me to watch it with her. I would simply walk out. So you know my feelings on this movie. Let me know yours and what you thought about my review by commenting or by Facebook.
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